Have i been d? i dont know im not sure... kinda a long question?

July just gone me and my friend jess stayed over at her boyfriend liam and two of his friends reece and joe also stayed over... anyways later that night me and jess where in the sitting room and all the lads where upstairs, liam come downstairs and said to me 'laura will you have with reece?' i just looked at him with a blank expression and said 'i dont know im not sure no' he then said 'okay' then walked back upstairs. Shortly after he come back downstairs and said to jess ' will you come out here i need to talk to you' she followed him out and they where out there for 2mins at the most and they both come back in the room. They both looked at me and was asking me to have with reece i kept saying the same thing to them 'im not sure if i want tosorry' they looked at eachother then grabbed me and dragged me up the stairs and tossed me into the bedroom and walked out and shut the door. I turned round and reece was there he looked at me and said 'im not that good at thius' then he pulled a condom out of his pocket and i just stared at him he then started kissing me but i didnt kiss back. Then he got me on the bed and started get out his and i was like 'i dont want to do this im not to sure' but he kept going and kept toucing is then he said 'get on top' i said 'i dont know i dont want to' he dragged me on top i tried to get up but he grabbed my hips and held me down.... Joe then ran upstairs banged on the door and said 'laura, liam is talking to callum on msn and he told him what you and reece where doing now he said he loves you and he said he is gonna kille himself' i started geting worried because i loved calum even though we split up i tried to get up and reece let go of me and i ran downstairs. I started talking to callum on msn and i tried to calm him down and he wanted to meet me so i went out and met him even though it was about 12ish we walked back to liam and stood outside and spoke he begged me back and started crying and i took him back because i loved him. We went into the house and i acted normal but things got outta conrtol because callum didnt like the fact that me and him done something and callum started threatening him and got a kniffe so everyone tried to calm him down, callum sat on the stairs and i went and spoke to him and got the kniofe of him and we sat on the stairs listening to everyone saying stuff about me and him which upset us..... The next day i started crying because of it and still to this day i find myself crying because of it and i have nightmares because of it, i cant even talk about him without getting upset ib have seen him 3 times since then and i didnt talk to him and one time i ened up crying, i dont think he thinks he has done anything wrong seriosuly im sure he thinks he it was normal and he is a really nice lad and everyone loves him... i have told 3 firneds nd all 3 of them told me not to tell anyone because he could get in trouble with the poilce and he dont deserve it and they where saying i probs just regret it..... im confused about it all and today it really got at me, was it or do i just regret it? i have a conciolor at the hosp for diff reasons but i cant say out to her because it will get him in trouble. i feel like i cant talk to anyone! What do i do now? im confused :s